Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Oh. Hi.

I've been more of an observer, lately, than a participant.  Well.  I take that back.  That's not entirely true.  I'm in the midst of one of those shifts that cycles through life.  And I'm actively taking part in it: listening to the whispers, feeling the tug at my heartstrings, following the path that doesn't have a destination in sight but feels like the right direction.  I'm journaling a lot.  Making lots of art.  But I've been a bit absent from here.  When I realized that three weeks had passed since my last post, I really was a bit surprised.  Seriously?  Where does the time go?

I'm trying some new things.  I should clarify: they are things that have been on the "big dream list", but that I've managed to ignore, put off, dance around.  Do you do that? 

The thing is, I feel like that saying: if you keep doing what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got.  Something like that.  And in the last several weeks, I've been asking myself why I keep doing those things.  Why don't I bite off a little bite of those big chunky dreamy dreams?  I think I get overwhelmed.  When that happens, I tend to freeze up.  Can't get organized.  Can't move. 

So, I've really been opening myself up to this thought: just let it be what it's going to be.  What I mean is, quit trying to control it, making up excuses, putting it off to another day.  The big dreamy dreams are today.  Life is right here, right now.  All of the answers I'm waiting for are all tucked right inside my heart, waiting.  The "being stuck" is mud of my own making.  Time to rinse the muck off my boots, and get those dreams a-hummin'. 

Then there's this.  Seemingly, out of nowhere.  But wonderfully found it's way to me at the exact time I needed it.  So.  That's where I've been the last few weeks.  Bulldozing.  Excavating.  Dreaming big chunky dreams.  Having the time of my life.  Because that's why we're here.  Can I get a big wootwoot?!!


Anne D said...

Absolutely, I am woot-wooting at you right now!

Catherine said...

woot-woot from me too - I am so with you and loving your whole outlook. Hoping to have the courage to do likewise. Love the St Francis quote. Cx

Beth Bardino said...

Tammy, I am so with you on this. I have recently re-assessed my dreams and come to the conclusion that living small, safe and secure no longer suits me. It's time to step out and BE BIG. I have my internal armada on full alert to shoot down that fear monster if he even makes a peep of discouragement. Really, who are we NOT to be big?

I love your journal pages...so calming.


Sheila Earhart said...

I'm right there with you. Trying to be patient. :) I adore your pages too, by the way!