Friday, October 28, 2011

Creating a Creative Business

I have big dreams.  And I've had them for a long time.  I know exactly what I want to do with my art and my creative business.  But.  It can be a bit overwhelming, the getting started part.  I'm much more comfortable arting-it-up in my studio, or doing the research about the things I'd like to do.  But when it comes down to executing my own dreams...I'm like a deer in headlights.  Frozen.  Can't.get.going.  I recently dug this up.  "My Creative Business" journal that I started two.years.ago.

This is the inside cover to my journal.  Clearly, two years ago I was already wondering what I was waiting for.  Again.  Two.years.ago.  Two years of my life have gone by, and I'm still wondering.  Argh!  I'm not going to candy-coat here.  It's HARD!  It is so hard for me to hold this very clear vision of what I want, and not have the wherewithal, the courage, the chutzpah to get myself and my art out there.  What is wrong with me?  What am I waiting for?  I'm really not looking for sympathy.  Maybe if I put the words in print, in black and white, where you'll read them, I'll feel accountable to someone out there.  I'll feel like I'm letting you down if I don't get it together, and make some progress, some big, hairy, scary steps towards my dreams.

I've filled my creative business journal with bright, happy, and inspirational images and phrases.  Don't get me wrong.  The pages are pretty to look at, and very encouraging. 

Here's the thing.  As I write this, I realize that maybe I'm now beyond this phase.  I've moved past needing the inspirational images and encouraging words, and need to move into the next phase.  Maybe my next step is to create greeting card prototypes, even if they suck, just to do it.  Perhaps in that exercise, the next step will present itself, and the next...and the next.  Maybe I don't have to know it all now.  Maybe I don't have to have formulated all of the plan now.

I think that's one of my biggest stumbling blocks in all of this:  that feeling that I need to know how it's all going to unfold, logically and chronologically, before I can actually get started.  Maybe that's not the right approach for me.  (Because, clearly, again, 

Maybe i just need to  Whatever "it" is.  Maybe today "it" is creating a few greeting cards.  And maybe tomorrow "it" will be doodling up a stitchery sampler to sell.  Maybe next week "it" will be contacting Tilde to make an appointment to show my paintings. 

I love to create.  And I love creating in different media.  I love to paint and doodle and cut and paste.  I love to stitch.  I love stringing bits and baubles together to make jewelry.  And I love that about how my brain works.  I truly do.  My brain and my hands work together to turn ordinary things into something special.  Little works of art.  Everything I create begins with something old: a discarded kitchen cabinet door, a length of vintage chain that once belonged to a piece of costume jewelry, or a reclaimed remnant of fabric.  And then the magic happens.  Inspiration takes hold, and out come the paints and the vintage papers, the beads and buttons and charms, the embroidery floss and fabric scraps and ribbons and trims.  I love combining the old with the new, and coming up with something completely unique.

If I could just get that process to manifest in my "getting it out into the world" part.  That's where I get stuck.

And there's always this:

That gets in the way of this:

But I am determined to make this happen.  I am committed to my dream (even if I spelled committed wrong in my journal - haha).

It is scary, and requires bravery.  But I think I've got something wonderful to share.  And that I need to at least make an attempt.  I have to trust my gut on this.  I need to take the risk, not just talk about it.  It will be better to have tried, than to wish later that I had done it.

Besides, there is a little voice inside of me that knows it's going to happen.


pam said...

I hear you sister! I believe you are going to do it and it's going to be now. :) go tammy go!

Ornery's Wife said...

I needed to read that today. Sigh. I don't have any of the firm ideas in my head like you have set out in your journal. The journey is not clearly marked, and there is enough of the fraidy cat in me to not want to fail--so I just don't try.

I like to create but the business end of it scares the poo out of me! What if... fills my head with doubt and I just sit on the ideas until they fade away.

Thanks for baring your heart here. My heart needed to know others are waiting for ____ to start just like I am. Notice the blank is filled with nothing--so I guess we aren't really waiting for anything anymore! Let's do it!

Amy P said...

OMG, I could've written this myself! I'm the same way. I feel I don't have direction or a plan but do I really need one? I feel I haven't found my niche because I don't have that signature style that screams YES this is it!

sigh... anyway, thanks for sharing, it feels better to know I'm not alone :)

Alexa Lett said...

I was once told, "don't over analyze until you paralyze"...quite helpful. Just do it.

Sandra L. said...

Oh, Tammy, this post really speaks to me!

More than two years have gone by since I signed up for two, yes two, Etsy shop names...and I have not really moved forward. Because I am scared.

We all seem to be in the same boat.

BTW, NOTHING you do sucks!!!

I'm rooting for you!

XOXO, Sandra